society has brainwashed men into believing that they’re weaker for expressing emotion; even in a moderate, necessary manner. the fact that you’re so afraid to open up shows weakness, not strength. we have to teach that moving forward; that it’s quite necessary to express how you genuinely feel
Some people wish not to love, but to be loved; a narcissistic approach to such a selfless phenomenon. This concept isn’t much different from the “strive to understand, not to be understood” concept. We as humans spend days fantasizing about how wonderful it’d be to be loved the right way; to be truly received and appreciated. Most of the time, however, we often forget that those around us have those exact same needs and desires. You aren’t the only damaged soul; most souls that you encounter are in one way or another healing from this harsh life that we must get through. Every soul that you encounter deserves to be loved unconditionally, the same way that you do.
That’s something key to keep in mind when you pursue intimate relationships; it’s important that you’re loved, but it’s just as important that you love back. What can you do to make your partner happy?.. How can you make them feel appreciated? Secure? You should put just as much energy into thinking about how you can be a good partner, as you do thinking about what you require out of your partner.
Many things in life can prevent us from being thankful for what we have; we often devalue the significance of what we’re already blessed with. Maybe at a young age your friend’s parents bought him or her a new car once he/she turned 16, while you had to wait a little while longer for your first car. Maybe you’re working a job you don’t necessarily like on a hot summer’s day, while on Instagram you see friend’s of yours taking vacations across the country. Or, maybe other individual’s excel in areas of life where you don’t; socially, financially, athletically, etc. You may often find yourself comparing your life to the lives of others, causing a sense of “unappreciation” for your own qualities or the good in your own life, because in your eyes, others have it so much better.
When we compare ourselves to other people in this kind of manner, the person comparing themselves to others will always be at a disadvantage. You’re only aware of what others show you; their “highlight reel” is all that you have access to, not the negativity in their life that may make you question your own envy towards them. Everyone see’s qualities in other people that they admire, and that’s ok; just don’t let those admirations harm your personal self-esteem.
It’s also important to realize that whether you believe it or not, we are all blessed with invaluable qualities and advantages in life. We all have things about us that our peers admire; so while you’re looking at someone else in admiration, wishing you had some of their gifts in life, they may be doing the same to you. Acknowledge your own qualities, your own gifts, your own accomplishments, and allow those positives to boost your self esteem. Train yourself to admire those around you in a healthy manner, without allowing comparison or envy to come into the picture.
Comparison is the thief of joy because when you compare yourself to others, you typically take the good and the bad from your life, and only compare it to the good in the lives of others. Every person is created uniquely with their own set of talents and blessings, so realize that you too have a gift that sets you apart from others; you too have a gift that people admire. Acknowledge your own blessings in life, and you’ll be a lot happier.
*originally published 5/2016, republished 11/8/2018
a form of ‘security’ that you can carry with you is knowing that everyone is the center of their own madness. no one is ever ‘really’ looking down on you, in a lot of ways they’re just confronting themselves.
a person’s “actions” do matter, but never put too much faith into “actions” alone. “actions” can be a form of deception, and as a result, don’t mean much more than “words” in the grand scheme of things. i trust a person’s vibe; their energy. not their words or their actions, but moreso what they ‘don’t’ have control of; that being, the subconscious energy that’s being projected towards you. trust your intuition.
You have to learn how to love yourself; to fully and unapologetically receive the person that you are. This includes your strengths, your weaknesses. Your admirable qualities, as well as your character flaws. Your hobbies, your unique quirks. What fills you with joy and what makes you tick. Your favorite genres of music to listen to, your sense of style. Your favorite season or type of weather. Your ‘not as popular’ interests or guilty pleasures that you may be shy about broadcasting. Your passions; the things that help you get out of bed every morning and approach each day with a seemingly limitless amount of enthusiasm. Study yourself, figure yourself out and embrace all that you are.
Don’t be more concerned about the relationships that you have with other people, than you are about the relationship that you have with yourself. The only person that will always be there for you, is you. You’ll always have you no matter what, so make sure that the most important relationship that you’ll ever have with a human is a healthy one.
anyone ever realize that the reason we think life is so ironic is because we expect so much? that’s a key to this life, i believe. not expecting ‘as’ much, and “allowing” more.